Experiencing loss as an (international) family

Amy and Husband in Clonmacnoise Ireland 2013 | Notes From Another Land

Please be aware I am about to discuss items related to sensitive topics which may upset some readers. I am sharing from a place of experience, with supporting resources if readers would like to explore further but I do not wish to be perceived as providing advice as every individual’s situation is unique to them and their own personal experiences.

This post is a continuation of my last post about 2019 as a year of character-building and soul-destroying ‘milestones’–we are on the roller coaster ride of life. 🎢

Read my last post here: https://notesfromanotherland.com/2019/10/30/when-the-show-cant-go-on/.

We experienced loss again in 2019, this time while expecting our third child.

It has been both a whirlwind and slow motion series of events, involving multiple practitioners and professionals as things didn’t quite go ‘as expected’.

As I prepare to turn 34 years old, I have found my 33rd year has contained some of the most challenging experiences of my life to date.

After three moves abroad, almost a dozen immigration applications, job and accommodation searches in markets where I didn’t have any contacts, an overseas wedding planned from another country, experiencing the death of loved ones, the birth of loved ones and navigating another move with a seven-month-old, I am pretty good at taking things as they come and thinking on my feet.

With two pregnancies under my belt, one labour, two deliveries (which didn’t go as planned of course), the journey of breastfeeding two children…I thought I had seen, experienced and actually been the epitome of vulnerability.

Over the past four years as I became a Mother, I believed my body had morphed into a warrior-like female Goddess figure becoming stronger than I had ever imagined.

How right I was and also, how wrong I was, as I had much further to go.

I had a feeling things weren’t right weeks before my instincts were confirmed (points for heeding that intuition). I tried to remain positive but the physical difficulties and differences were too noticeable to ignore, so I began to steel myself toward the unexpected.

After a couple of appointments where things weren’t quite able to be confirmed, I decided to keep going with the flow, continue with work, attend networking events and meetings, while working on client commitments-maintaining that stiff upper lip.

Within a few days, my body decided the show would not go on.

This meant canceling plans, including:

An event I was hosting
Client meetings I had scheduled
Company meetings and events I had planned to attend

I also started asking for help with my family, thank goodness for:

Grandparents who live nearby and helped us to look after our two kids, grocery shop and generally keep things as ‘normal’ as possible
Friends who checked in on us, brought food, stopped by to visit
Daycare we had already organized so the kids could be looked after on weekdays
Colleagues and clients who didn’t ask too many questions when we started cancelling things
Other contacts who sent notes of understanding, well wishes and support despite not knowing what our family emergency meant

I also had to seek out medical assistance multiple times and am grateful for:

A public system that despite gave me the run around multiple times and required me to advocate for my own health, provides an opportunity to speak with experts some people do not have easy or affordable access to in other countries
The fact we live in a city full of medical institutions and practitioners

Amy Maureen Lynch and husband in Silverstrand, Galway, Ireland | Notes From Another Land — Strolling along Silverstrand, Ireland 2014. Photo by my mom, Cheryl Lynch.

As someone who doesn’t cry often and usually appears calm, this experience has knocked me off kilter and quite literally shook me to the core.

I know it wasn’t my ‘fault’. I know I couldn’t ‘prevent’ anything from happening.

I wasn’t ashamed of my body. I was ashamed of how my body was treated.

The facts, statistics or procedures couldn’t do anything to stop the physical experience I had and the emotions I don’t think I have ever felt before.

I have been in many professional and medical environments where I felt exposed. But, this to me was very different and on a whole other level.

I had an idea of what the emotional aspects of miscarriage could be like: the anxiety, grief, fear.

But I was not prepared for the physical reality of miscarriage and losing a child.

It was disempowerment in action.

Over the course of two weeks during appointments, examinations and interventions, I wasn’t given options even though I asked for them, many times.

I was overcome by a strong wave of hot shame, humiliation and vulnerability as I miscarried in waiting rooms, surrounded by strangers as I waited to be seen by a doctor on multiple visits.

I didn’t want to be there but my midwives said I required more urgent care.

I was miscarrying in public. Then private. Then public. Then private. Then public. Then private. Then public. Then private. Then public. Then private. Then public. Then private.

When the unplanned and unmedicated interventions I hadn’t asked for didn’t work, I was told I could go home and wait it out.

Talk about being in limbo.

After much Googling and speaking with friends and family who have experienced miscarriage, I realize my situation doesn’t fall under one of the three categories of treatment for miscarriage:

Expected Management
Medical Treatment
Surgical Procedure

I had a mixture of some of those but as far as I could see, it was categorized as one which didn’t quite go ‘as expected’. And everyone’s experience is unique.

Around the time this was all happening, there happened to be Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness campaigns running and Glamour published a series on ‘The 10 Percent‘, bringing to light some topics which still appear to be taboo.

Amy Maureen Lynch in London England 2015 | Notes From Another Land — West Hampstead, England village walks in 2015.

If you are going through a pregnancy or fertility loss or have already gone through it, I am so, so sorry.

It seriously is a horrible time and I can’t quite believe how much it has impacted me.

I have even more respect for women’s bodies and the resilience people have both during and after experiencing life events which are completely out of their control.

Things which have helped me so far have been:

1. Being self-aware and listening to my body. I knew when things were happening and tried to advocate for myself in our healthcare system as best as I could. Although it didn’t help when it came to the ER interventions, I strongly believe the practices I started to regularly maintain over the past year in order to hone my intuition served me well when it came to knowing my body better.

2. Speaking regularly with my midwives and other strong women I am personally and professionally close to, who have been through similar life experiences. Their wisdom, kind words, empathy and compassion made me feel less alone, despite going through a very solitary and individual experience.

3. Cancelling plans, setting boundaries, asking for help, relying more on others, being gentle with myself, resting, writing, reading and eating well. I also needed extra fluids, lots of bloodwork and regular checkups but when not in a medical environment, I tried to relax as much as I could. Thank you to my parents for helping us with childcare so I could rest in the evenings and go for the day surgery.

4. Spending time with my family, doing things like eating popcorn out of dump truck loaders while watching Daddy rake the leaves, pretending to be ghosts as we practiced our best Halloween impressions and lots of cuddles…when they let me cuddle them. Our toddler’s favourite games are chasing and hide and seek, with our preschooler loving back-to-back bedtime stories, so I felt I could still play with them even if I wasn’t my usual more energetic self.

5. Speaking up for myself. Over and over again. People I asked for a D&C over a period of two and a half weeks before actually getting one included: my two midwives, two Triage nurses, four ER doctors and two OB/GYN doctors. I also spoke with nurses, receptionists and sonographers. Don’t be afraid to speak up! We live in a great country with access to public healthcare but people are busy and you are your best advocate. You only get one body to live in during this lifetime.

Other simple and small things I did to help me so far:

Wrote about the experience
Talked to a professional therapist who specializes in women’s issues
Planted flowers for next spring when the baby was due

Do what you need to do, to get through this time…only you will know what feels right.

I know I am young, time will heal all, I have two healthy children, a brilliant life partner, a loving family, supportive friends – insert other positive yet unhelpful in the moment affirmations here – I am grateful for all of those things and more.

But it doesn’t resolve the physical or emotional experiences, which are now part of what I will carry around in this lifetime.

As an international family, there is the added challenge of deciding whether or not to share it with others, how to best do that and then the overall process of going through it while isolated from some family and friends.

I know this is not unique to international families and that many people are choosing to live in cities, towns or countries away from loved ones and would experience a similar challenge of a lack of personal support locally.

We are fortunate in that my parents are nearby, we have friends locally and as we have been here two years and previously had our second child in the same city, my medical information and records were up-to-date, we knew of the services available and were familiar with many of the places we had already visited.

When you move to a new place, there is a lot of life admin to take place and sometimes you’re so focused on getting a job, phone number, banking setup and accommodations organized, you forget about the need to reach out to local service providers whom you may require the use of in an emergency or crisis situation.

It is always a good idea to research your local community resources, support networks, medical service providers and confirm any benefits your employer may provide for when it comes to engaging with and paying for speciality service providers which may not be covered by your public health insurance.

Notes From Another Land | Red leaves gray door — London, England blooms, gates and doorways in 2016.

Hopefully, you don’t have to go through this very solitary experience alone.

Be sure to reach out and ask for help if you need it.

Local Ottawa and surrounding area resources for current and expectant parents include:

Sometimes all you can do is cancel plans, rest, regroup and reset – it is OK to drop the ball on things and say you can no longer commit.

Others will have to start going with the flow more and think on their feet but they will eventually go about their daily lives and get on with things.

Your most important focus is to look after yourself first.

As before and as always – I am still here, I will keep showing up but the show doesn’t always have to go on.

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When The Show Can’t Go On And You Realize You’re On The Rollercoaster Known As Life

2019 is forever going down as the year I thought I had hit rock bottom…then realized I had further yet to go.

Grab a cuppa and settle down, I can’t summarize this into a Too Long Didn’t Read (TLDR) summary. You’ll either make the time or you won’t.

It has been a year of character-building and soul-destroying ‘milestones’–a roller coaster ride–and we still have two months to go. 🎢

Just as we wrapped up the first half of an amazing start to 2019…BAM! The fun house ride began. But this was no theme park full of positivity, celebrations and feel-good vibes 24/7.

Complete with twists and turns, unpredictable corners, uneven footing, doors which didn’t open, windows we couldn’t close and a very large volume of mirrors at every stop along the way forcing us to…slow down. Stop. Pause and reflect. Whether I wanted to or not.

The UPs

We took our children on our first overseas trip to Europe, travelling with two kids under age three. The upside of international family life! The kids travelled better than we did, there were no tears in transit and we even managed to squeeze our car seats and luggage in the rental. Just not the stroller. 😂

I hosted my first ‘Babies, Business + Breakfast’ events, complete with guest speakers, while growing an amazing community of parents interested in professional development. It has been heartwarming, encouraging, empowering, a big learning curve but always, always completely worth it.

I solo parented (with lots of help from Grandparents) while my husband was on a business trip in China and in the same week, spoke at a crowded sold-out CreativeMornings event and on a panel alongside our children. It gave me the opportunity to put myself out there, speak my truth, deliver a message I believe in and get real feedback…even if I was sweating the whole time while juggling two kids, trying to remember my points and uncertain of the response.

My kids didn’t make strange or have meltdowns and to be honest, I received great feedback from lovely people I would not have met otherwise. It’s something I would do all over again if asked and further affirmed why failing forward is always a good choice for me.

I spoke to different audiences over the summer about bringing children into business settings and advised organizations on integrating pop-up childcare into their events. It has been humbling and encouraging to see concepts and ideas I have been sharing over the years enacted in real life. These ideas aren’t exclusively my own: they are a combination of things I’ve seen, created and participated in while living overseas, read about from afar and experimented with in my own personal and professional life over the years.

Even if all involved were doing it as a bit of an unknown trial, the curiosity sparked with the willingness to try something different brought home the importance of continuing to put yourself out there. The speaking engagements and pop-up childcare went really well and it has been so good to see what can happen when the power of different ideas is met with inspired action, to result in social change.

People started approaching me, saying they had heard of my work around creating more parent-friendly business spaces and events, offering to get involved, help and/or participate. As above, you may not think anyone is listening, or that you’re repeating yourself, being too much or asking too many questions. But, trust me on this one: you never know who needs and wants to hear your message–for the first time or the fifth time–who’s impacted by you showing up as you are, in all your glory or whose response will set a series of changes in motion.

I started practicing Tarot and began reading for friends, family and complete strangers. This one may seem a bit out-of-the-blue but it’s been a long time coming. When my clients ask me how long I’ve been reading for, I tell them I’ve been doing it for years…without the cards!

Tarot has given me a framework and container to speak with strangers about their unique experiences and discuss ways of dealing with what they’re going through. It helps others tap into their inner wisdom and turns the dial up on what they already know to be true but maybe haven’t been actively listening to lately.

My background in journalism and communications helps with the questions I pose and the storytelling aspect, while my experiences abroad have provided me with a better understanding of my own abilities…as well as the useful skill of getting to know complete strangers in 30 minutes or less. Now, my questions, comments and observations don’t freak people out as much because I can let the cards do more of the talking.

We made many new connections, friends and started feeling at home in Ottawa. This has been a combination of time, putting ourselves out there and letting things unfold as they will, following the breadcrumbs along the way.

We are feeling really lucky to have good networks professionally and personally in the fourth city and country we have called home in the past 10 years.

The first half of 2019 can be summed up as: Gratitude. Awe. Life-changing moments. Feelings of joy, celebration and achievement all gloriously streaming in.

I have been feeling the love all year…followed closely by discomfort, vulnerability, humiliation and flat-out despair.

I have always been a bit of a ‘The show must go on! Reclaim your power! Embrace the awkward! Use this experience as fuel/motivation to keep going!‘ type of person.

But halfway through 2019, even I had to throw ice cold water on my face, snap myself out of it and stop to process things first.

I have been *this close* to saying, fuck it. Wrap it up. Cut the lights. Throw out the script. These moments are too offside. Unpredictable. Unrepeatable. Unspeakable.

I have no desire to replicate them. Predict them. Repeat them. Speak them.

But I can write them.

For now, that’s all I can do.

And I am going to do so in hopes that if you’re going through a similar shitstorm, revelation, experience…you will feel less alone.

The DOWNs

I realized I was being followed for a period of time when I was alone with my children, in the neighbourhood we live in.

Once it dawned on me, shit got as you might say ‘real‘.

Now, let’s take a moment to pause and let this first one really sink in for a bit.

Being followed.

While alone with my kids.

In our neighbourhood.

Where we live.

This experience has dramatically altered things in my day-to-day life, routines and overall feelings of safety and wellbeing.

As a woman, wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, community organizer and person who is showing up in public spaces as part of my work and speaking at events.

Police said it wasn’t ‘stalking’ as defined by legislation but moreso repeated ‘following’. However, victim support networks and other professionals disagreed and believe I am a victim of harassment/stalking.

And after I took action, I was told that while it had been dealt with at that moment in time, I shouldn’t be surprised if it happens again. All I could do was to be very self-aware going forward and try to go back to my ‘regular’ life.

What helped me through each step of the way were the complete strangers working at victims support and with the police telling me the facts of my story and experience were not unique to me. These incidents were patterns they had seen before. My emotional responses were ones many victims shared. And I had a right to feel concerned.

They reassured me I had done the right thing and thanked me for reaching out. Unfortunately, many people tell their close friends and families, then get deterred from taking further action.

For anyone who has been a victim of following, harassment and/or stalking, I am so sorry. It is a terrible, anxiety-inducing realization and one which I hope you can seek out professional support for immediately.

I was sent this Canadian resource by a professional victim support worker and it speaks volumes. In this country, women make up 76 percent of victims of Criminal Harassment, with 58 percent of them stalked by a former partner:

You can call the Victim Support Line 24/7 toll-free at 1-888-579-2888 or at 416-314-2447 if you’re in the Toronto area.

You can also contact:

We experienced loss in our extended families both in Canada and Ireland.

Whether you’re near or far, loss is never an easy process to go through and over the years, we have experienced it many different ways.

Disconnection from loved ones or the inability to travel quickly enough, have made the realities of being an international family all the more real again.

I don’t believe there is an easy remedy for this one.

We will always live life in a place where one of us (and sometimes both of us) are removed from close family and friends. You can’t always be where you want to be, when you want to be there.

We try to be present for our loved ones when we are with them and to offer them support, assistance and compassion when we can’t physically be there.

It is easier said than done and you feel as though there is always more you could do.

I have never been a huge pray-er. But I am a believe-r. In things larger than myself and the often inexplicable. Spirit. Guides. The Otherworld. The Universe. Fate. Serendipity. Superstition. Signs. To me, they have always felt present at different times in my life.

I can tell you I thought about all of those things and more over the past year.

What was the lesson here?
What was the message?
Why was it happening this way?

2019 has been wonderful and miserable. Character building and soul destroying. Joyful and woeful. Awe-inspiring and terrifying. Brimming with love, closely followed by fear. Full of life, shadowed by death.

I have even more respect for the resilience people have both during and after experiencing life events which are completely out of their control.

You can’t make this shit up.

As I am still processing what has been happening over the past year, I am in no place to offer advice or guidance.

I am sharing my highs and lows in this candid post in hopes of showing that it’s not all about kicking goals.

Sometimes all you can do is cancel plans, rest, regroup and reset.

On that note, hold on, buckle up and prepare for some changes to take place as we head into 2020 because the places I’ve been to lately…I simply cannot go back to. Will not. Flat out refuse to.

I am still here, I will keep showing up but the show doesn’t always have to go on.

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Why You Should Show Up (And Keep Showing Up)

Invest Ottawa What's Your Why Workshop October 21 2019

How hard is it to get out of the house, kids loaded in the car, do drop off and make it on time to a 9 a.m. workshop? Very hard.

Anyone else feeling me?

One kid was up at 6:30 a.m., the other I let sleep in until 8 a.m. as he’s only just getting over a cold. Daycare drop off on Monday never goes according to plan after a lovely weekend all together and it very quickly turns into separation-anxiety-city.

Soooo…by the time I got in the car and looked at heading to the ‘What’s Your Why’ Workshop I had registered for with Invest Ottawa for womxn founders I was *this close* to turning left and heading back home as it was 8:47 a.m. and the event started at 9 a.m. And it was a good 25-30 minutes away.

But then something magical happened. The traffic lights in my suburb were down. Power at gas stations was out. My laptop was with me but the battery was dead. So no ‘working from home’ was going to happen, I may as well head to this workshop and show up late.

Better late than never?

And it was! I parked and entered the building around 9:45 a.m. and was greeted warmly by a few staff members from Invest Ottawa–I show up there quite a bit…sometimes with kids–and joined a group work activity where we were fleshing out our ideal customer’s pain and gain points.

I met some great contacts and at lunchtime they invited people to speak on the mic during the 30-minute break to ask questions, network, pitch…so I did. I decided last minute this was the ideal market research opportunity so I surveyed the group and about 50-60 per cent were parents. Many of kids age 10 and under.

I told them about Babies, Business + Breakfast, the upcoming event next week on Wednesday, October 30th at Algonquin College’s DARE District and mentioned I was looking to host events in the not so distant future at Invest Ottawa.

I also told them I had been bringing my children into business settings since they were in the womb and once they were born…from four-weeks-old and onward. Then I went back to my seat feeling a bit sheepish but was stopped by a woman who said she had heard about me.

A few women came by my table to introduce themselves, say they loved the idea and ask for more info. And on my way out of the building, another woman approached me…she had seen me speak in June at an event while wearing my baby and she loved what I had to say. As a mother of four children, lawyer and a newcomer to Canada, she had continued to bring her children into business settings throughout her career.

So despite my late start, self doubt and a bit of stage fright, my Monday morning was time well spent.

The main message I have for you today: If you ever get the opportunity to speak, pitch, ask questions, or simply show up and be seen, please do.

Even if it makes you feel queasy, or nervous, or vulnerable or question why on earth anyone could possibly care/listen/relate to what you have to say. Those moments of unease are always right before the magic unfolds of connections you may not of met, opportunities you may have missed or people who nod and believe what you have to say, ask or offer resonates with them.

That’s all for now from me, really felt the love today.

Happy #SmallBusinessWeek!

Support your local business owners and remember, a ‘like’ or ‘share’ on social media, a positive review based on a previous experience or a word of mouth referral are all worth their weight in gold. Support doesn’t always have to = money spent.

Enjoy your week! 🍂🎃

P.S. I voted last weekend so I wouldn’t be rushed today. If you haven’t yet, there’s still time!

Your voice (and your vote) matter. Always.

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Low Cost Professional Development Events You Can Bring Your Kids To This Fall

Babies Business + Breakfast Fall 2019 Event

SAVE THE DATE: The next Babies, Business + Breakfast Fall 2019 Pop-Up Event is scheduled for Wednesday, October 30th, 2019!

Stay tuned for speaker and venue details to be released in October but if you’ve attended a previous event and are keen to get in early, you can register for your ticket (includes one adult and your children) in advance as space is limited.

Fuel up on fresh business inspiration, strong coffee and get connected to other like-minded parents at the next Babies, Business + Breakfast: Fall 2019 Pop-Up Event.

Join us on Wednesday, October 30th, 2019 from 10 a.m. to 12:30 p.m.

Tickets are limited! RSVP to reserve your space.

RSVP ONLINE HERE.

Thinking of starting a business or already running one?

These upcoming events require registration but may be of interest to you:

Tuesday, September 24th:
- Branding 101
- Marketing
Wednesday, September 25th:
Thursday, September 26th:
Friday, September 27th:
- CreativeMornings Ottawa
- L-SPARK Unplugged: Hiking Edition
Monday, September 30th:
- The Art of Time-Management
- Small Business Financing
Tuesday, October 1st:
Wednesday, October 2nd:
- Tax and Bookkeeping Help For Small Business
Thursday, October 3rd:
Friday, October 4th:
- Entrepreneurship Connections
Monday, October 7th:
- Custom Software and App Development for Beginners
- Importing
Tuesday, October 8th:
Thursday, October 10th:
Wednesday, October 16th:
- Business for Good: Social Enterprise 101
- Market Research
Thursday, October 17th:
- Opening a Food Establishment
Wednesday, October 30th:
- Babies, Business + Breakfast Fall 2019 Pop-Up Event

About Babies, Business + Breakfast

We believe parenthood and professional development don’t have to be mutually exclusive.

People have families and they want to invest in themselves. It shouldn’t be an either/or situation and we are creating a community that welcomes primary caregivers AND their children to talk about business in a safe and welcoming space (coffee and croissants included!)

Learn more about Babies, Business + Breakfast™.

Get the FREE Babies + Business Mini Guide

Using positive anchors to manifest a new reality

Notes From Another Land | Travel Print Gallery Wall | Amy Maureen Lynch

Integrating future visions into everyday life

There are a few things I do to ‘act as if’, anchor my future goals, dreams and visions and ensure I keep my mind in positive flow when it comes to manifesting a new reality that is very different from my current one.

For example, I currently have a creative studio and second home overseas vision board disguised as a framed collage photo displayed in the middle of a gallery wall in our living space…surrounded by prints dedicated to travel!

The wall contains a mix of art prints from an artist I met while living in London, England, art cards from local bookshops in the city, my own travel photography and some Pinterest inspiration for exact examples of what I envision a second home living space to look like.

Full disclaimer: We don’t fully own our current (and first) home in Canada at the moment but I don’t believe that is a reason to stop envisioning a future one. If I believed that theory, I would never have made the move to Australia or Europe when I did (before I was ‘ready’, things ‘made sense’ or opportunities ‘arrived’). Instead I envisioned what I wanted, anchored it in, took inspired action and it resulted in many manifestations.

Decorating your present space with future intentions

There are those who attend vision board workshops and then tuck it in a drawer to never be gazed upon again.

Others may journal their desires and hide them away for safe-keeping.

Some lament about their lofty dreams with close friends only, then blush at the ‘absurdity’ of those things coming true. Refusing to believe, hope or actively push for them to come true.

Maybe it’s to avoid the disappointment of things not turning out the way you had planned or getting even close to what you hope for.

I say, “Go big, darling! No one can make it happen for yourself but you and YOU need to believe it WILL happen, even if you don’t know how (yet).”

How I manifest my anchors: A recent example

I hung my ‘future creative studio in a second home overseas vision’ collage last year before baby number two was born. It was one of the first jobs I gave my new home computer and printer.

Some people nest with nursery set-up, I get busy doing manifesting work. 😂

I want to create unique experiences with my international family at home and abroad so I need to start now.

Fast forward to January 2019, when we vacationed in Ireland with the boys to introduce them to some of the other side of their family.

We stopped at local spots and I did some research, which all went very well considering we had two kids under age three with us.

Before the trip, I reached out to the new owners of a local estate home steeped in history, folklore and culture to set up a meeting. I wanted to enquire about hosting creative retreats on the Emerald Isle in future and they were delighted to welcome me for a private tour of the 300-year-old home, grounds and a cup of tea by the fire in their dining hall.

I had the local Galway-area knowledge of my relations, the historical background courtesy of Google and my ideas to share. The new owners (one from Dublin and one from Australia) had been renovating the home over the past few years and converting it from a heritage estate into a B&B and yoga studio (the ballroom is used for this, as you do).

We exchanged stories, future plans, previous family travel and common experiences, as they had relocated from Cairns, Australia when they purchased the home a few years back.

It was surreal. But also…very real and felt like my wishes were materializing in real time.

On another day, we visited a local town and walked into an oceanfront artist studio in a village of craftsperson cottages with my family and I felt, “this is it”. 🐚🌊

I spoke to a few local artists, bought some of their wares and wandered around the oceanfront village for a bit on the edge of Galway city.

When we returned to Canada, I decorated our home with the art and items from our trip. I also contacted the local business association and enquired about leasing agreements, terms and length.

Nothing available at the moment as they are leased for 10 years at a time and often renewed. But I took some small actions, met with a local artist in Canada to ask her advice about starting a creative practice and even enquired about studio space here.

Emotion over effort: Make it easy to feel good about your plans

What else have I done since dreaming up this vision?

My ring tray is a mermaid tail, when I take off my jewellery at night I think of the ocean
The art in our bedroom features Irish and seaside sc2eenes, with beach house colour schemes
I have desktop and phone backgrounds using photos which are views from oceanfront properties
My home has Irish blessings and a Bridgid’s cross, reminding me of our family’s background and keeping negativity at bay
Our wedding was held in Salthill, Galway along Galway Bay which flows into the Atlantic Ocean, looking at our wedding pictures always reminds me of what it looked and felt like
I talk about it openly (in addition to writing about it) in a present/certain tense, as in it is going to happen and it is on its’ way
We only use Irish breakfast tea (Barry’s Red Label) which we buy from a local shop that imports dry goods from the Emerald Isle but that is also a personal preference for us (tea snobs who refuse to drink the common Orange Pekoe blends in Canada)

By creating small anchors in my everyday life, I breeze through the day and have several touchpoints with my vision without having to do active meditation, journaling or more. But if that’s your jam then by all means integrate it into your regular practices!

I have two young kids and between home, work and creative routines, I prefer to not have to think as I manifest too much.

While reading this, you may feel I am obsessing about a wild, unachievable or unrealistic goal but on the contrary, it actually feels very relaxed to me as I am detached from the outcome of ‘when, where and how’ things will happen but still reminded regularly of the ‘what’ I want.

One thing I know about my past experiences with manifesting is you can’t predict how quickly or slowly it will happen, you need to be careful what you wish for and you need to be ready when it arrives.

You may have to do something that scares the shit out of you or the result you get may show up in an unpredictable package that still meets your criteria but feels like a bit of a sly joke played on you by the Universe and/or life.

I now notice signs everywhere 🍀🌈

People wearing Irish shirts, overhearing conversations about travel and the other day as we were driving, a vehicle changed lanes ahead of us to reveal a campervan in front with a clover and ‘shamrock’ written on the back!

Yes, I hear you Universe and I appreciate the positive vibes.

I recently started focusing on creating passive income, offering additional services and taking on client work to fund my dream. An unexpected fork in the road/curveball from the Universe: What I thought may be a detour (client work to supplement income) has turned into many aligned opportunities which could propel my efforts. 🙌

Anyone else getting pleasantly surprised by your manifesting magic these days!? 🔮

I would love to learn more about the positive anchors you have tried (or plan to try after reading this) when working towards a future goal!

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Integrating intuition into everyday life

Amy Lynch Notes From Another Land Tarot Crystals

Your inner wisdom is like maple syrup: golden

Are you even Canadian if you don’t have an empty 1L bottle of maple syrup on your kitchen counter!? 🥞🇨🇦

When I lived abroad I always called it liquid gold because it was sooo expensive to buy overseas and I would ration it because I never quite knew when my journey would end or where I’d be headed to next. Then when I would move it was all of a sudden…”Maple syrup party at my house! Pancakes for everyone! Smother it all in syrup!”

Um, hello feast or famine mentality.

I’m now learning and practicing ‘moderation’ as I strive to be a good maple syrup consuming role model for my children (failing at this) and we now own a house so I have a dedicated shelf (what…you don’t?) Just for back up, because we all know once it’s opened that gold goes in the fridge.

The secret is out: everyone has an inner voice

If you’re not into using your intuition, that’s cool. But I’ll occasionally be posting about it, what I do, why I do it and other things which aren’t ‘strictly business’ but I use them IN business and life in general.

Like planning around lunar cycles, using tarot and oracle cards for meditation, reflection and decision making, walking in nature to ground myself and other witchy-ish things (or divine/feminine, intuitive practices if you prefer).

What works for me may not work for you but the secret’s out guys: we all have intuition but only some tap into it intentionally (like a maple tree) to let the good stuff flow.

It’s up to you what you do with the info, the choice is always yours.

If I could bottle it for you I would but that’s less fun than doing a reading, so if you’re ready to drink the koolaid (or maple syrup) I’ll be here!

Sharing what I practice as I go

Lately, since I’ve been actively having deep conversations with many friends, family and strangers, I have also been doing more regular self-care. As well as cleaning, clearing and protecting my decks, stones and jewelry, some long overdue!

Thank you to Heather Thatcher from Self-Talk Remedy, Morningstar from Beaded Dreams in Ottawa and Caroline and Alicia from Green Spirit in Manotick for the tips and supplies.

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Signs, signs, everywhere a sign

Amy Lynch Notes From Another Land Intuitive Entrepreneur Creative Artist

Do you believe in signs and omens?

Last month, when I was presenting at a conference at Carleton University in Ottawa, I stopped to snap a photo of my tropical print and the greenery outside…when I looked down there were a few copies of Australian Artist Magazine.

I also regularly start the car only to hear ‘Men At Work’ singing ‘Land Down Under‘ blaring on the radio. And it’s never at the same time of day!

Stopping to take note

I used to live in Australia with my husband before we had kids. It is where our first home is, where we built amazing friendships, networks and ties to the community and it is where we plan to take our children in future.
If you asked me what I wanted to be as a little girl, I would have answered: An artist and writer who goes on adventures. I have been writing regularly, am getting back in touch with the art community now and I know deep down I want to practice art more regularly. I’ve been having great adventures abroad and now I’m in a season of my life where I’m creating new and more local ones.
I used to edit, design and publish a magazine for an Australian company, remotely where I was based in Europe. It was a project I pitched, created and delivered over three years from 2014 and I am proud to say it still published editions after I handed it over, once my first son was born.

Three reminders of my past and now I am exploring how I have changed and what I can bring with me on the next evolution of my adventures!

Animal and wildlife spotting

We eat our meals facing the garden and oftentimes, we see a rabbit and sometimes a baby bunny, munching away at leaves in our backyard. Our breakfasts and dinners are now usually accompanied by the friendly neighbourhood rabbit(s), squirrels and birds.

But a few weeks back, when I was getting ready to head upstairs for bed, I peered out our front door to spot a rabbit lounging. On the stones in front of our front steps.

I shit you not. This little dude moved up from backyard garden grazing to front yard lounging. Side sprawl, tail out. Directly in front of our door. Brazenly staring at passerby and their dogs. It could have been the heatwave. Or perhaps our welcoming nature but I’m going with the latter on this one.

Any signs you’re repeatedly getting lately?

P.S. Australia (especially you Queensland) we love and miss you!

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Low To No Cost Professional Development Events You Can Bring Your Kids To This Summer

Amy Lynch and family at CreativeMornings Ottawa

Amy Lynch presenting at CreativeMorning Ottawa with her kids — Photo by Finn Lin for CreativeMornings Ottawa

I’ve said it more than once and I will say it again: Parenthood and professional development don’t have to be mutually exclusive.

In the spirit of sharing what’s on in Ottawa–with the goal of breaking those feelings of isolation, cabin fever, creative urge and desire to connect with other humans you’re not related to–here are a few low to no cost events happening around the city over the coming weeks.

For the corporates who don’t think they are that ‘creative’ and the creatives who aren’t confined by corporate life:

CreativeMornings Ottawa is hosting their next FREE talk on Friday, August 30th from 8:30 a.m. to 10 a.m.

The talk doesn’t actually start until 9 a.m. so don’t panic, you can still make it out of the door in time with the diaper bag packed and ready to go! Register online here.

If you can see it, you can be it! Don’t worry, they’re used to seeing kids in this venue as it’s held at the Ottawa Art Gallery which is accessible and has baby change facilities.

Not sure if it’s for you?
Here are some recaps on my blog of CM Ottawa events I have attended with my kids:

And some recaps from when I was presenting at CM Ottawa alongside my 10-month-old and almost three-year-old:

Babies, Business + Breakfast Spring 2019 Pop-Up Event. Photo by Charlene from Van Veit Creative — Babies, Business + Breakfast™ Spring 2019 Pop-Up Event. Photo by Charlene from Van Veit Creative

Are you an artist, a creative professional or merely interested in all of the above?

The Rectory Art House is showcasing their 10 artists through their Annual Great Rectory Art Party and open studios on Friday, September 13th from 5 p.m. to 9 p.m. and Saturday, September 14th from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. You can view their Facebook event here and registration is FREE.

I don’t believe this venue is accessible and I am guessing they don’t have baby change facilities but the neighbouring church hall at Saint Brigid’s Centre for the Arts is very used to seeing children at their events as they often host pancake breakfasts, Irish trad music sessions and other artistic, cultural and social events. It is a gem in the city centre, I love the location and events hosted there.

Thinking of starting a business or already running one?

Invest Ottawa provides complimentary access to business advisors and entrepreneurship events AND they now have a baby change table* located on the ground floor of their building (across from reception) in a gender neutral accessible washroom (it will fit your stroller too).

These upcoming events require registration but may be of interest to you:

Wednesday, September 4th from 9 a.m. – 12 p.m.:
Accounting consultation time slots are available [by appointment only]
Thursday, September 5th from 9:30 a.m. – 11:30 a.m.:
Realities of Starting a Restaurant Business
Wednesday, September 11th from 9:30 a.m. – 12 p.m.:
Understanding QuickBooks Online
Thursday, September 12th from 9 a.m. – 12 p.m.:
Legal consultation time slots are available [by appointment only]
Thursday, September 12th from 10 a.m. – 11:30 a.m.:
Google Advertising Online: The Free and the Paid

And the following weeks have insurance, taxation, prototyping, market research, importing, branding, financial forecasting and human resource topics but I will be sending out another newsletter in September and you can find the detailed Invest Ottawa calendar online here.

*I may have had to participate in some #BYOBaby into business settings activism with my sons over the past year at Bayview Yards to get a baby change table installed but it was well worth it because now you don’t have to worry about using the washrooms for yourself or changing your kiddos on the floor/sofas/trunk of your car!

Show up, don’t be shy and ask for the help you need.

Most of these events are free and the programming and facilities at Bayview Yards are partially funded by all three levels of government. As a member of the general public (regardless of whether or not you show up with your kids) it is your right to access these entrepreneurship and business resources.

What’s next? I need your help!

I want to ensure everyone gets a chance to share their feedback for future Babies, Business + Breakfast™ events.

Please send an email to: contact[at]amymaureenlynch.com, if you’d like to share your thoughts on the following (and any other requests you have!):

BBB Events: Would you prefer monthly, bi-monthly, quarterly events?
Questions related to starting up (registering, tax, legal, protecting your ideas) came up during audience Q&A. Are you interested in learning more about business basics and/or bookkeeping?
What are you working on right now and in 2020 (career and/or business-wise)? I’d love to learn more about you and your business.

Babies, Business + Breakfast Summer 2019 Pop-Up Event | Amy Maureen Lynch — Subscribe to receive updates, resources and future event info: bit.ly/BabiesBizBreakfast

The vision for Babies, Business + Breakfast™.

Hiya, my name is Amy Lynch and I’ve been participating in personal and professional development since my two children were newborns (they’re currently one and almost three years old), as a result of the belief I could keep doing what I loved to do as a parent, alongside my children.

It wouldn’t always be easy or comfortable, but along the way I started getting into my own bringing babies into business settings rhythm and in doing so, became an accidental activist. I started writing about it, speaking with other parents and advocating for more inclusive spaces and business experiences.

As it turns out, others also believe parenthood and professional development don’t have to be mutually exclusive.

Like my newsletter readers, event attendees, guest speakers, business sponsors and community partners who join us to mix babies and business, blurring those life and work lines a bit more!

Babies, Business + Breakfast™ is focused on providing parent-friendly professional development, through an online newsletter and face-to-face event series, designed to start conversations, share ideas and create a sense of community.

Get the FREE Babies + Business Mini Guide

Learn more about Babies, Business + Breakfast™.

You can also follow my parenthood + professional development adventures on Instagram and via my previous blog posts.

Read about my previous experiences bringing babies into business settings in the following blog posts:

Tapping Into My Intuition

Amy Maureen Lynch Notes From Another Land Intuitive Oracle Tarot Readings

Taking time to pause and reflect

I am celebrating my blog’s six year anniversary this summer (it’s easy to remember as it is the same year as our wedding anniversary)! 🎉

I originally had another blog when I first moved abroad to Brisbane, Australia in 2010 but it’s since been replaced by notesfromanotherland.com circa 2013 to focus on travel, expat life, creativity and flexible work as we country hopped from Oz to Ireland, England and now Canada.

After many requests from strangers for “my business card” when sharing travel, adventure, life and work stories, I’ve FINALLY designed and printed some up. Nothing fancy, using my own photography, but the significance is in the opportunities presenting themselves lately.

In addition to my work around parenthood and professional development, marketing communications consulting and business idea validation, I have spent the last decade blogging about the people I meet in different places, the experiences I have at home and abroad, as well as the learnings, ideas and creations inspired by all of the above.

After being gifted a tarot deck in Ireland this past winter and being told by other intuitives over the past decade to start honing my abilities, I have been offering readings focused on life, travel, business and self-care at my kitchen table and cafes around the city.

Amy Lynch Notes From Another Land Tarot Intuitive | DruidCraft Tarot Deck — A Lions Gate Spread using the DruidCraft Tarot Deck I was gifted in Galway, Ireland

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